Like White On Rice.

This is interesting. I decided to do a little test. I posted an ad on a personal's website and within an hour of that post I received 10 replies all from guys trying to take me out. Here are the results:

- A guy named Ricardo who lives very close to my town "I have a good sense of humor and am a good listener."
-Someone named Jeff who lives about 45 min. away "I'm a pretty normal guy and somewhat of a geek"
- A guy named Paul, didn't disclose his location "im a little insecure right now"
- Andy, user name "Optimus Prime" (seriously?), didn't disclose age or location "looking to enjoy my summer and meet new friends"
- John, "Please call me -"
- Rod, 26, very near to my town "this date would be on me of course. ;-)"
- Matt, 35, "would you be intersted?" although he includes no information about himself. .
- Anonymous from my area "Hope to hear back"
- Anonymous, "I'm nice looking, in good shape, clean and disease free"
- Anonymous guy, "tall, attractive, older male, who gets along very well with younger people!" (Wow, I feel like I could be his granddaughter)

I wasn't able to find pictures on any of their emails, but a few. Physically, they're not what I'm looking for, not that I even felt I was going anywhere with this. I was testing the waters - seeing if anyone would respond. What mystifies me the most is that these guys don't even know what I look like & yet they jump on the "non-serious" status like white on rice. What if I was a chubby 28 year old with two kids? Would they be so interested still? Or do most guys just take what they can get? Am I generalizing?

Either way, I'm happy to know that I am learning new things and that I can get a date with a nice fellow if I decide to get out there ;-)

Still "Bi-curious"

OOookkkayy! I'm going to do it! I think I have decided that I want to date a guy. My curiosity for girls and getting to know them (not to mention dealing with all the drama and games involved) can only last so long. I still want to figure out where I stand on sexuality, but for now I just want a few dates with a cute guy ;-D Is that shallow? No, because that is just what I want right now for this moment. That's okay because I have never done this before. This is the first time I have dated anyone without the intention of a serious romantic relationship.

Any questions..?

It's A New Day ~

Hello all, whom it may concern. A lot has changed within the past few days! I'm so excited because I'm learning a lot about myself, even though it is not all positive things, but I'm beginning to grow and come out of my slump where I felt "stuck".

I decided that I wasn't going to waste anymore energy on someone, who obviously is much more interested in herself, trying to make her a true friend. If I can't rely on her than that's all there is to say. I adore her and I sincerely hope that we will always know each other and grow from one another, but there are needs that I have that I simply don't see her fulfilling. That may have sounded utterly inappropriate, but really what I mean is that some of the things that I expect from a friend - she doesn't supply. I posted an ad online and I've gotten some responses. I even went to the Steve Miller concert on Saturday. It was fantastic! I wasn't even aware that I liked Steve Miller so much before this concert. He's an activist!

So, this girl that I met is great. We have quite a bit in common and she's fun to talk with. I'm manifesting a friend for myself and I don't know if this is the one that I'm looking for, but time will tell when it's right ;-]

Test

I did a little experiment yesterday and it revealed to me something that I had been wondering for the last few months.

On the dating website that I use, I instant messaged a few girls that were online. I messaged three girls, all of whom didn't say a word to me, although one did stop to look at my profile. After realizing that they weren't going to be getting back to me, I switched my "online view" to males and sent a message to three of the first ones that I saw. Every single one of them replied even though my profile states that I'm gay. Isn't that fascinating? Why the fear? I think I've discovered that, while I don't want a relationship at this time and I want to date women, it is much easier to date males. Why is that?

I don't understand it. It may not be easy, but it's not something that I'm not going to give up on just yet ;)

Here Goes Nothing. .

To start off with my experiences with this fragile matter, I would like to say that, as a woman, dating females is the most frustrating thing I have ever done.

This isn't because I feel the need to insist upon sexual stereotypes of any kind - I, for one, know those are not useful - but the reason for this is because it appears to be that most females that I contact and get in touch with online are very closed down. There is so much more meticulousness and caution involved in just talking with a female. In talking with males, I was never that cautious. It seemed much easier and more care free than starting conversation with females. I must say now that I have always enjoyed being female. I have not always felt "feminine", but I am not "butch" or a "dike". I always struggled in feeling like I belonged when glancing at other girls my age. Since that time, I have created a more individualized person out of myself and I am more social, but I am still quite unsure of my feminine side. This has made it very difficult for me to be involved with other females because, sometimes, I can't relate with them.

So far, I have been on 9 or 10 dates and I have met 6 girls. I started this "quest", if you will, a few months ago on a few reliable dating websites. For me, the dates have all been an enjoyable experience for me and I have learned a lot along the way. However, I have only met one girl that I have seen more consistently and we both like each other a lot. We are both exactly what we need in a "dating companion" and it's been great having fun together.

Perhaps the reason why I have not met many girls is because I am not interested in sex. I have encountered so many people online that are looking to have sex with other women, most interested in involving their man - it's ridiculous! I am not of that "kind". The only way that I feel comfortable in having sex with someone is if I am in love and care deeply for that person. If this is not why, than my only other idea is that I am unattractive. There, I said it. It comes out. Am I attractive enough?? I feel that I am plenty attractive. I know that I am beautiful, regardless that I have some work to do on my body. How attractive must I be to simply go on a date with someone? Are females that picky? I've dated, and would not mind dating more, girls that I have not found very attractive. I am more in this journey to learn more about myself and to experience what life has to offer me. I don't play games and I don't lead anyone on. I'm starting to think maybe that is what is scaring girls away.. nobody wants to hear it all out up front. Some people like to test others and play games. That is not what I am about. Do I scare females?