Men Scare Me.

So. . . .I have realized, due to some further observation and testing, that I am utterly not ready for a relationship, nor am I in any comfortable position to date a man/guy/boy. Why? I ask myself. I don't know. Perhaps because I am still in a personal search for my own enlightenment and growth. How am I to feel capable or to claim even the slightest bit of adoration for someone, when I know I have yet to claim that for myself? Perhaps, this is simply because I was going through the process of "mourning" from my previous relationship and I interrupted my progress when I got committed again with my ex. Or, maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship due to many different things.

Honestly, I wish I understood this more. .

It's A New Day ~

Hello all, whom it may concern. A lot has changed within the past few days! I'm so excited because I'm learning a lot about myself, even though it is not all positive things, but I'm beginning to grow and come out of my slump where I felt "stuck".

I decided that I wasn't going to waste anymore energy on someone, who obviously is much more interested in herself, trying to make her a true friend. If I can't rely on her than that's all there is to say. I adore her and I sincerely hope that we will always know each other and grow from one another, but there are needs that I have that I simply don't see her fulfilling. That may have sounded utterly inappropriate, but really what I mean is that some of the things that I expect from a friend - she doesn't supply. I posted an ad online and I've gotten some responses. I even went to the Steve Miller concert on Saturday. It was fantastic! I wasn't even aware that I liked Steve Miller so much before this concert. He's an activist!

So, this girl that I met is great. We have quite a bit in common and she's fun to talk with. I'm manifesting a friend for myself and I don't know if this is the one that I'm looking for, but time will tell when it's right ;-]