Men Scare Me.

So. . . .I have realized, due to some further observation and testing, that I am utterly not ready for a relationship, nor am I in any comfortable position to date a man/guy/boy. Why? I ask myself. I don't know. Perhaps because I am still in a personal search for my own enlightenment and growth. How am I to feel capable or to claim even the slightest bit of adoration for someone, when I know I have yet to claim that for myself? Perhaps, this is simply because I was going through the process of "mourning" from my previous relationship and I interrupted my progress when I got committed again with my ex. Or, maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship due to many different things.

Honestly, I wish I understood this more. .

Like White On Rice.

This is interesting. I decided to do a little test. I posted an ad on a personal's website and within an hour of that post I received 10 replies all from guys trying to take me out. Here are the results:

- A guy named Ricardo who lives very close to my town "I have a good sense of humor and am a good listener."
-Someone named Jeff who lives about 45 min. away "I'm a pretty normal guy and somewhat of a geek"
- A guy named Paul, didn't disclose his location "im a little insecure right now"
- Andy, user name "Optimus Prime" (seriously?), didn't disclose age or location "looking to enjoy my summer and meet new friends"
- John, "Please call me -"
- Rod, 26, very near to my town "this date would be on me of course. ;-)"
- Matt, 35, "would you be intersted?" although he includes no information about himself. .
- Anonymous from my area "Hope to hear back"
- Anonymous, "I'm nice looking, in good shape, clean and disease free"
- Anonymous guy, "tall, attractive, older male, who gets along very well with younger people!" (Wow, I feel like I could be his granddaughter)

I wasn't able to find pictures on any of their emails, but a few. Physically, they're not what I'm looking for, not that I even felt I was going anywhere with this. I was testing the waters - seeing if anyone would respond. What mystifies me the most is that these guys don't even know what I look like & yet they jump on the "non-serious" status like white on rice. What if I was a chubby 28 year old with two kids? Would they be so interested still? Or do most guys just take what they can get? Am I generalizing?

Either way, I'm happy to know that I am learning new things and that I can get a date with a nice fellow if I decide to get out there ;-)