Frustration

I feel like I have completely lost all faith in dating websites. That may sound silly to someone who has had a lot of experience with this or someone who has already figured this out, but I'm beginning to feel this way. Why are females so fake? Is it so difficult or unbearable to be honest? Why does every girl I speak to shy away with the least bit of frankness?

With men, it was soo much easier starting conversations and getting to know them. They seem much more easy going and simple-minded. Always without the meticulous complexities that I have found in females. What's the deal? Do guys have this same problem when it comes to dating females? Should it really be this frustrating?

For the past 2 months I have been on several dates with quite a few girls, but now there's nothing. It's like I'm suddenly completely unappealing to every girl that crosses my path (or in this case, profile). I feel like a phony whenever I send someone an online message because it seems to me like I can't simply say what I'm thinking without making an idiot out of myself. I have to be casual and a little misleading. I don't lie by any means, but to put it frankly, I don't think I can be completely straightforward without scaring everyone away.

Although this has caused me much discomfort and irritation, this is something that I still want to do. That is: encounter romance with a female, even though it wont be serious involvement. Share feelings with that person and discover the differences between female and male communication. Answer questions that I have: could I fall in love with a female just as easily as with a male? Or is the only attraction I have to females of a physical nature?

Well, I'm beginning to see just how annoying all this has become, so I think it's safe to say that I'm taking some time to not worry about it. I will probably come back soon to update my blog on a few of the dates that I've been on. Till then -

Peace ☮

Reasons

Perhaps I have it wrong, but I don't recall ever giving credit to why I have started this blog in the first place. I don't know if anybody cares enough about my experiences to read this, but I will explain anyway:

I started writing a blog because I thought this could really help me through a challenging point in my life. I don't have it all that bad, to be honest, but I'm always learning something new and things happen everyday. Since I began dating females, it inspired me to put my thoughts and experiences into words so that others can see what it's like. Maybe someone, somewhere understands the frustration that I'm going through with it and care enough to explain to me what I'm doing wrong. More than anything, it always helps to rant..even though some people don't like reading a whiny blog that someone whips up for their own sense of self satisfaction.

I have been talking with God only knows how many girls, yet not a single woman has arose. It's terribly disappointing that nothing has been consistent in my dating life. I had one sustaining date, but she stop calling and picking up the phone for reasons I can't explain. Should I just stop looking for a while? What I want from a "dating companion", so to speak, is someone to talk to and get to know, someone to debate with, someone who wants to randomly take drives to go sight seeing, or go to the movies, go swimming or just make drinks at home, someone to kiss and hold hands in the park with..nothing serious, but always romantic and willing to communicate her feelings with me. Is that a hard thing to find? I hope not.

I have come to realize that everyone is looking for something in their life. Whether that be a friend, a lover, a husband, a boyfriend, a "dating companion", or a threesome - I'm starting to think that humans are never satisfied. I mean, I am perfectly content with my life. I find happiness and joy in doing simple things like laughing with friends, taking baths, going for walks, swimming and getting sun burned, reading, writing and watching movies. I am not a particularly difficult person to please, but at the same time I am human and I do find myself aspiring for things just like everyone else.

It may sound selfish to some people, but I want to learn more about myself and I would like to have someone help me do that ~